ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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