Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
