Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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