I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
