I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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