Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize