Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
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