piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
