My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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