Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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