Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize