My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
