I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
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