I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
