i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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