I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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