Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
