i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
