He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
