i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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