Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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