Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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