why didn't you poke me back
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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