I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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