maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
