Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
