WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
