i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize