is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
