Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
