My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
The Olympian is in my bed
Randomize
