he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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