4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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