How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
