so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
