Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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