woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
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