you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Randomize