Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
