she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize