there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize