just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
my being single is dangerous.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
