C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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