Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
