Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
