Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
