its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
