Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Randomize
