do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
