There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
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