lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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