So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
