I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
And then the night went full on bisexual.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
