Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize