We need to rekindle our bromance
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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