I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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