ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I just googled if crying burns calories
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
