You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
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