I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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