I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
We left an ass print on the piano.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
