peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
