So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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