yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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