My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
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