he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize